Reframing Your Situations
Thank God it is Friday. Are you excited? Of course, you should be. If not, you are the reason for your unhappy mode. Nobody owes you happiness.
Let’s get to the day’s business. Reframing means looking at things differently. This can be any situation, problem, words, thoughts, feeling etc.
Now, we want to discuss re-framing negative situations. Reframing brings about a new experience. This can change a negative experience into a positive one. It is an alteration in the mind configuration about something.
Imagine each situation like a photo in a frame. The frame that holds that photo influences how the photo appears.
Other things around that photo also impact how you perceive it such as the lighting, the colour of the wall or where you hung it up.
If after a while you change the photo frame, colour of the wall, the lighting etc of the same place. This change will also affect your mind construction about the photo. Someone who didn’t like the photo may like it because of the reframing.
Any photo or situation in life, if you change the frame or the way that you’re looking at it, the meaning change as well. That is changing the perspective of the situation. We call that re-framing. Undoubtedly, interpretation or perspective is very key to our lives and impacts our daily living.
You may not always be able to change what happens around you but you have the power to decide how you view the situation and perceive it in your mind.
The situation or problem itself does not determine the outcome, your perspective does. Even the worst experiences of life that feel like a curse can be reframed to open your consciousness to find the blessing in them.
It is the meaning that we give to a situation that determines its impact on us. Also, look for the silver lining in every uncomfortable situation.
So, for every seemingly negative circumstance in our life, there could be a positive outcome from it. Have you heard the saying that every disappointment is a blessing…this depends on how you look at it.
Some people learn from bad experiences to become better. There are some persons that if their relationship hadn’t ended bitterly, they may not have a loving relationship today….yes they learn from it and probably learn better ways of handling things.
For instance, If covid 19 didn’t come, some people may not have learned new skills or ventured into business. Some may not have gone back to school if they were not denied promotion or sacked from jobs.
If you had never made mistakes, you never would have learned the lessons that made you who you are today.
Do this to reframe your negative experience:
When something happens that makes you frustrated, sad, angry or disappointed, pause and ask yourself the following question:
• What else might be going on here that I don’t see at a glance?
• What have I learned from this experience?
• What can I do differently next time to change the experience?
• What positive outcomes eventually came as a result of this situation?
• What meaning does it have
• What purpose does it give me?
• How can I use this experience to better myself?
Make a list of experiences from your past that was negative and then identify the positive outcomes and or the empowering lessons you can take from them.
Then, change your perspective and your worldview about it.
Check the words that you used in the former perspective. words you use are one powerful way to shift your perspective.
For example, the word “fail” can make you feel emotions of fear.
To someone who has a fixed mindset, failure is a no-no.
By changing your perspective, you can change the way that you view failure.
The truth about failure is that as long as you learn something from it and apply it to your life, nothing is lost. You can’t be a failure while still working. You can only be a failure when you give up and stop.
Imagine, you want to climb a mountain. You’re standing at the bottom looking up. And, you’re feeling afraid that you might fail while you are already in the failure position. This is because you are yet to take action.
So, many stories of famous failures illustrate how failure is not a death sentence.
You don’t see failures as a reflection of who you are. Rather, see failures as a learning opportunity.
When your mind shows you a situation like a failure. Exclaimed Wow! Another great learning opportunity.
What can I extract from this?
So, using the analogy of the mountain to see that not trying is the same as failure will push you to try and takes away the fear.
Finding the evidence that supports that failure is not a bad thing helps you to look for the silver lining in what seems difficult at the time.
Another step you can take is to change the words you use, for instance, next time you hear yourself thinking or saying the word “fail”, replace it with the word “learn”.
The new word helps you re-frame the situation and open your mind to look at the lessons that the situation is trying to teach you.
Here’s another example.
The next time you catch yourself thinking, I’m not good at this or that…
Always add the word yet. See, this lets your mind know that although you might not currently have the ability, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it or that you won’t do it.
By telling your subconscious mind that you can develop the ability, you have given it a command that immediately starts to tune in to find ways for you to learn and grow and develop that ability long term.
Below is a powerful word to change your perspective. Let’s use it all the time.
I haven’t achieved this goal yet.
I haven’t done this yet.
By this, you’re telling your mind that it is possible.
You learn from the challenges to help you take the right action to achieve it.
Because when you say the word “yet”, it isn’t a matter of whether you will or not, it’s a matter of when. It’s a matter that is going to happen but it just hasn’t happened yet.
Always, assess the words/phrases that you use and re-frame the things in your life.
Because once you re-frame it, it could truly have a powerful shift in your ability and your future.
Thank you for reading my 1kobo thought.