What is attitude?
Attitude is simply the way we think and feel about someone or something. It is our disposition, tendency and orientation.
Attitude can be positive or negative…
Attitude is expressed in behaviour.
It is inert.
It is difficult to understand someone’s attitude without careful observation of his or her behaviours…reactions in speeches and actions.
Many books have been written on the topic of attitude.
Attitude is everything written by Jeff Keller is one of such books. Get it and read.
In the words of Williams James,
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind”. This implies that we can control certain happenings in our lives if we pay attention to our attitudes.
Have you ever heard someone say, I don’t eat from your house, I’m not like you, I’m not your type and the likes… this expressions send strong message to the receiver.
You are by those statements showing up your attitude of pride disregards to humans, discrimination and stereotyping, etc.
Our attitudes can affect us positively or negatively. This can be in the family, workplace, groups, relationships, personal development, career pursuit, business, collaborations/partnership, etc.
What triggers bad attitudes?
Every occurrence has its causes and effects. If we can understand that our attitude is negative, it will help us to look out for solutions.
To get workable solutions we must first know the causes of such bad attitudes.
The following can trigger negative attitudes.
1. Setting unrealistic expectations. When you don’t set SMART goals. When you overshoot. You desire things that will take you a whole year to achieve and you want them to happen in a short time. When your source of income is quite below your expected expenditures.
2. When we don’t plan for the unexpected. Challenges will take us unawares and this will generate bad feelings in us. Some people will transfer their aggression from disappointment to others.
3. When people we look up to have negative attitudes which they don’t see as something wrong. Most people think and act like their role models.
4. Fear of rejection. When we think that others do not approve of what we do, we tend to play defensive using attitude to play them down. Behaving as if they are not important.
5. When we have a mindset of win or nothing. We want to win by all means else we go nought. The attitude of not seeing failure as an opportunity to learn.
6. When we need support, help, attention and comfort but lack the boldness to ask for it.
This will bring about bad feelings against people whom we think should give us what we want.
7. Emotional trauma, low self-esteem and hardship. This is very common among low-income earners. They will feel rejected and disregarded.
You can check within yourself to identify more.
Ask yourself, what are those things that make you think and behave that way?
The Downside of Bad Attitudes.
An attitude is termed bad or negative when it is against acceptable ways of life. When you are deviant. Your actions go contrary to the expected behavioural patterns.
1. You cannot maintain a good relationship with people
2. You will deny yourself some favour or help because nobody wants to get bad vibrations from you.
3. You will not grow in your field of endeavour. People will not like to do business with you.
4. This will affect your success in life generally.
Remember this statement, your attitude determines your altitude.
Note: According to John C. Maxwell, attitude is a difference-maker.
What can set you apart? Attitude does.
Attitude defines you.
It speaks volumes of you.
Your attitude reveals your unseen part of life to others.
It is possible to walk in ignorance of what people hold against you because your attitude has made you blind to a fault.
How to mitigate negative attitudes.
Every problem has a solution or solutions. But, sometimes finding the solutions can be a difficult task.
The following points can help:
1. You must first acknowledge the existence of a bad attitude to enable you to work towards finding solutions.
List out those negative attitudes you hold unto.
2. Decide. Everything starts and ends with a decision. When you see it as something worth doing, your mind will push you to take action that will change the narratives.
3. Be in control of your thought. Refocus your negative thought on something positive.
4. Set SMART goals. Be realistic in your expectations.
5. Learn to take reasonable risks. Don’t take risks that you have not measured the pros and cons to avoid regret.
6. Align with positive people. Learn to partner and collaborate with others. Don’t be alone rangers.
7. Be bold and open to asking for help when it is necessary. Don’t pretend and die in silence
8. Learn to seek expert counsel and accept correction.
9. Do away with negative people and Negative attitude triggers.
10. Be susceptible to change. Embrace it. Keep moving forward.
11. Live a life of forgiveness. Always try to view others better than you. Regard and celebrate people’s wins.
12. Be addicted to using positive words.
13. Believe in yourself and others. Value people. Value relationships.
14. Love God and keep His commandment which abhors negative attitudes.
You can add to the list.
It is possible to think and feel good about people and things.
Thank you very much for your time.
Let’s take action to correct our negative attitudes.